A purple box with white text says, “I didn’t wear earrings for a long time and the holes closed. Now I’m worried about my vagina.” An orange CARD label sits in the corner. The pink background features Drinks On Me’s Holes Closed Card, a best-selling funny birthday card.
A person writes on a Drinks On Me Holes Closed Card, a blank, recycled paper greeting card, while holding another card that says: FUN FACT! If you refill a wine glass before it's empty, it still counts as 1 glass.
A purple box with white text says, “I didn’t wear earrings for a long time and the holes closed. Now I’m worried about my vagina.” An orange CARD label sits in the corner. The pink background features Drinks On Me’s Holes Closed Card, a best-selling funny birthday card.
A person writes on a Drinks On Me Holes Closed Card, a blank, recycled paper greeting card, while holding another card that says: FUN FACT! If you refill a wine glass before it's empty, it still counts as 1 glass.

Holes Closed Card

$4.99
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"I Didn’t Wear Earrings For A Long Time And The Holes Closed. Now I’m Worried About My Vagina."

Get the party started (and the laughs rolling) with our best-selling funny birthday card. Printed in the USA on lightweight yet durable recycled paper, this greeting card says exactly what your most unfiltered friend is thinking.

Whether you’re celebrating a milestone birthday, a ‘we don’t talk about the number’ birthday, or just need a card to say what everyone else is too polite to — this card is guaranteed to get a chuckle. Sometimes the best gift you can give someone is the permission to laugh at themselves.

Product Details

  • Includes 1 greeting card with envelope
  • Size: 5" x 5"
  • Material: Recycled paper
  • Made in the USA
  • Additional postage required to mail
  • Inside blank
  • White envelope with colored border included

Perfect For

  • Funny birthday gifts for parents and friends
  • Mom and dad birthday cards
  • Milestone birthdays (40th, 50th, 60th, and beyond)
  • “Over the hill” birthday celebrations
  • Pairing with a funny gift, bottle of wine, or cocktail napkins
  • Anyone who appreciates parenting humor and a good laugh
  • Last-minute birthday gift solution

Perfect for tucking into a gift bag, pairing with a bottle of wine, or mailing to someone who deserves a good laugh. This card also makes a hilarious standalone gift for friends, family, coworkers, or anyone who appreciates wit, humor, and a card that actually says something worth reading.

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